Joyce Kilmer Never Had To Raise A Family In Montana

Thursday, the plywood plant out at the old lumber mill here in Libby, MT burned to the ground. Now that might not seem to be a big deal, but we’re talking about a structure that covered almost five acres. I worked at the Plywood Plant for three summers and one time I had to go up on the roof in the rain one dark night to unplug an exhaust vent used to suck sawdust out of the plant. Skittering across the wet asphalt in the late night downpour and looking through a hole in the roof near the duct work, I felt like a bug plastered against the roof of the Kingdome. Not a pleasant experience given my acrophobia.

That was years ago…yet, standing in a ditch while Karol took pictures of the smoldering carnage, I felt sad. Another bit of my history had gone up in smoke. On top of that, it looks like about a million dollars in damages will be visited upon people who had businesses near or inside the dilapidated old structure the Plywood Plant had become…Yet more hard times being visited upon people who’ve had more than their share since the dirty 80’s and the death of the timber industry in most of the Pacific Northwest.

I’ve never understood the thinking that has led to the death of the timber industry in places like my hometown. Trees, after all, are a renewable resource. Check out Florida, where they grow southern pine trees in rows like corn, if you don’t think so…and the sad truth is, in Libby they had been planting more trees than they’d been harvesting for many years before the rug got pulled out from under everyone. At any rate, any notion we have that our forests would be better off without our influence is stupidity of the highest order. We have been managing the forests for more than 150 years out here (much longer in the East) and if recent history tells us anything it’s that when we STOP being stewards of our forests, they just become infested with wood-eating bugs and burn to the ground as if to spite us.

The housing boom that was partly to blame for the economic bust should have been a huge boon to the American timber industry and places like Libby. We were building an awful lot of stupidly-big stick-framed houses for a long time, so it might have been flush times for mill workers and lumberjacks…except for the fact that the eco-terrorists had gutted our timber industry long ago. So a lot of that money went to places like Canada and Russia and so on…

I guess it makes more sense to float logs in from Siberia or truck hem in from British Columbia than to harvest resources in our own back yards and employ our own people.

“Green” is the social fad of the day. Just check out all the eco-friendly commerce happening on the Internet.

But am I the only person who sees the hypocrisy in selling $295 celebrity handbags on a site that touts itself as being “eco-conscious?”
 
To my way of thinking, it’s all an extension of the ecology movement that got traction and then ran over places like Libby starting in the 70’s. Don’t get me wrong…I believe global warming is real, that recycling is good, and that adoption of renewable power sources is key to our survival on this planet (among other things)…but I also think that there are far too many dimwitted dipshits and well-minded sheep (i.e. Californians, Sierra Club members, Eco-terrorists, and their ilk) running around and mucking in other people’s business for no good purpose other than to relieve their guilt about wrecking their own back yards.

I suppose it’s a noble and high minded goal, to “save the planet.” But people also have to be allowed to pursue happiness and all that constitutionally guaranteed mumbo-jumbo the average American barely understands and certainly takes for granted. It has always been odd to me that a politically well-connected plastic surgeon in California might have more to say about what goes on in the forests of Northwestern Montana than a logger who is actually trying to support his family here.

But it happens, and of course, the locals here just want to mow down every stick of green in the forest anyway and therefore desperately need to be steered onto the right path by someone made of apparently higher moral stuff. We dumb Montanans certainly do need to be told what to do…and judging by the state of California’s own resources and economy, they are just the ones to do it.

Okay, not just California, but they’re the most fun to pick on because they are so friggin self-righteous and self-absorbed (though apparently unable to balance the state’s checkbook).

Oh, I know how it works…it’s all about who can best afford to make the most noise in congress. It’s about who can best afford to spend millions to file lawsuit after lawsuit in order to tie lumber sales up in court long enough to drive small and mid-sized timber companies out of business. It’s about people who only see spotted owls and pretty trees and want to make sure those goofy birds (I saw one nesting at a Burger King once – apparently their habitat includes more than old growth forests) and pretty trees are still around when they come north to fish, hunt, ski, visit their summer homes, or vacation in the woods for a couple weeks every summer…I just wonder why the process so rarely works for the people who actually live here.

I’m rambling, and I do hate it when I ramble…

Anyway, I met a gentleman not long ago out by the family house I’m working on. Seems he used to be the local forest supervisor (a post my great grandfather once held, as it turns out), and he bemoaned the stupidity…and the arrogance…of all this. He noted that the local forest grows by some 400 million board feet per year, but that loggers are only allowed to harvest about 10% of that annually. The surplus is so staggering and out of control that one of these days (also factoring in things like the long-standing drought and the massive pine beetle infestation) someone is going to flick a cigarette butt into a bush around here and the whole county is going to go up like an atom bomb.

I’m hoping to live to see it so I can scream “I told you so” into the faces of a lot of greenies I know. This actually already happened once about 25 years or so ago…remember the Yellowstone fires? Well, apparently we didn’t learn anything then, either…but it’s nice Steven Spielberg could use the footage in one of his movies.

So what does all this have to do with the Plywood plant?

Hell, I don’t know…it’s just that if the eco-terrorists hadn’t killed the timber industry up here, there would still be a mill here (the old J. Neils/St. Regis/Champion mill employed up to 2,000 people at various points in Libby’s history), the Plywood Plant would have been in operation rather than being allowed to fall into disrepair, and the town would be thriving instead of slowly shrinking into what should eventually be a nice quaint retirement village run by the local group of good ole boys.

It’s unlikely that the fire would have happened at all, and if it had, there would have been appropriate resources to handle it. The people who ended up losing everything they have worked for in the fire wouldn’t be living in hellish uncertainty today…and some of my memories of youth wouldn’t now be drifting away on a tendril of smoke.

It just grates on me…maybe it’s the whole “ripple in a pond” thing.

Years ago, some well-meaning tree huggers who had already raped and pillaged their forests, lakes, and streams (and made themselves wealthy in the process) decided to save some trees from a bunch of backwards mountain people who clearly weren’t to be trusted to make decisions about what goes on in their own back yards. They were really successful, since they had more money and lawyers than God; and now there are lots of pretty trees to look at whenever they come to take a ski vacation or kill a fish or some other living creature in God’s backcountry.

Of course, it never occurred to them that saving all those trees without really thinking the whole thing through might have negative consequences for the people who lived here, and even, in the long run, the forests and wildlife themselves. So now, we have pine beetle infested forests, surplus timber about to spontaneously combust, widespread poverty and marginal literacy, old infrastructure falling apart and bursting into flames all around us, eyesores galore where once thriving towns have become ghost towns, and on and on…all to save some fowl, give a few bears a place to crap, and to save some trees that weren’t in any danger to begin with.

I just don’t understand how supposedly smart people…these self-appointed saviors of all things green…can be so unbelievably short-sighted and dumb. But here we have it in flames, rubble, twisted steel, and ruined dreams…so where are they now? Why aren’t they here cleaning up the mess they helped make?

Why indeed…I guess a burned out industrial building just isn’t as pretty to look at, or as worthy of saving, as a tree…

But with apologies to Joyce Kilmer, I just don't know if I can always agree with that.
    

Bring Me the Head of Tilikum the Killer Whale

A horrible tragedy occurred in Orlando, Florida this past week when a veteran SeaWorld trainer was dragged off a platform and killed by a six-ton killer whale. Dawn Brancheau was drowned by the whale, named Tilikum, when it grabbed the 40 year-old trainer by her long ponytail and then charged back and forth through the tank with the woman in its jaws. Astonishingly, it marked the third time the animal had been involved in a human death.

Now, this is a horrible event, sadly witnessed by many visitors to the park; but I have one question about it, specifically about one of the comments made after the incident. The victim’s older sister, Diane Gross, went on record as saying that Brancheau wouldn't want anything done to the whale because of her love for the animals.

Really? And how, exactly, does she know this for sure? I’ve done it myself, I guess…but I really have to wonder sometimes about our overwhelming need to speak for the dead like this. That’s one hell of an assumption to make, really, and I would argue that it’s made more to appease and pacify the living than for any other reason. Somehow I doubt that this woman’s last thoughts – as she was being simultaneously crushed and drowned in the killer whale’s toothy maw – were about the animal’s welfare.

So okay…perhaps Dawn Brancheau would – like Roy after he was mauled by one of his tigers – cry out from the grave “don’t hurt the whale” if she could. But, considering that this is the third human death Tilikum has been associated with, maybe not. I mean, come on…if Tilikum was a person, he would be classified as a serial killer by now.

But if it was me…I say three strikes and you’re out. Sorry Tilikum, but you’ve been a very bad marine mammal and it’s time you paid the price for your misdeeds…

So, note to anyone reading this: I love animals, but if one ever eats me or otherwise causes my death, I don’t want to hear any of this, “Scooter wouldn’t want the poor critter harmed” crap.

That’s simply bullshit.

I want the “poor critter” that has caused my demise shot, stuffed, and its head mounted on my tombstone.

The only exception I can think of is that if I die of natural causes and my four cats are trapped in the house with my festering corpse for an extended period before help arrives, they have my permission to use my body as an emergency food supply. But other than that, I say it’s an eye for an eye.

Who knows? Perhaps it will act as a deterrent to future incidents. If the animal kingdom’s various predators know that we’re not going to put up with their bad behavior, they might think twice before going on another murder spree...

Infrastructure or Entitlement?

I listened to some of the health care debate today. Well, actually it’s more of a debate on how we are going to continue to allow the insurance companies to enrich themselves while they do their best to bankrupt the country. I have to say that Obama is one articulate dude, and I have to chuckle every time he slaps down McCain...but that’s not really what I want to talk about. What I want to talk about is this political sound bite I keep hearing:

“It’s nothing but a big entitlement.”

Hmmm…

Entitlement?

So what does that actually mean? Does it mean that Americans AREN’T entitled to healthcare? That’s what it sounds like to me. Apparently the only people in America who are “entitled” to healthcare are those who can afford it…or those lucky enough to qualify for some already existing “entitlement” program that they would get rid of if they could.

Sometimes I think that the powers that be would love it if we could go back to a more medieval type of healthcare system…you know, the sort of system where the rich get house calls from highly trained (and extremely expensive) physicians to treat their ills while everyone else goes to the local healer, shaman, or witch doctor for some folk remedy made of stewed chicken lips and pig feces. It seems strange to me that in this supposedly enlightened age, we can still find areas in which to engage in class struggles.

Anyway, the thing that I keep getting hung up on is this notion that “healthcare” is some sort of product or commodity that the government has no business mucking around with. As if “healthcare” is some sort of widget that is manufactured somewhere to be sold to consumers for their benefit and that market forces and economies of scale are working their magic to make “healthcare” cheaper and better the same way we see our computers and electronic devices get smarter, faster, and smaller for less and less over time. I suppose if “healthcare” evolved, improved, and became more affordable the way our toys and tools do, everyone would be happy and we wouldn’t be having the current debate.

But that is exactly the opposite of what’s happening (the cost of healthcare is increasing at unconscionable rates), and in the end, it’s not analogous. The truth is that if you look between the lines at what is scrawled there in red crayon in big, bold, block letters for everyone to see, you’ll find out that the “debate” isn’t about “healthcare” or the quality of life in America. It is about who controls the trillions of dollars flowing through the healthcare industry. It’s about HEALTH INSURANCE and big, big, big money. That’s all it is about and all it has ever been about, so let’s not kid ourselves into thinking the big players in this debate care about us. Insurance companies are businesses and they are about making money. PERIOD. And the majority of this so called debate is about who controls what is a very big and expensive pie.

Okay, fine…this is all about big empires and a bunch of Snidely Whiplashes twirling their mustaches. So what’s that got to do with the price of tea bags in Alaska?

Well, I would argue that it obscures the real problem and the only sensible solution. We are spending so much time trying to find a compromise that will allow the insurance companies to continue ass-raping the public while also providing for the have-nots, that people fail to consider the facts that (1) our current system is clearly discriminatory in ways we simply DO NOT allow in any other arena and allows for routine discrimination along lines of age, gender, race, and economic class solely to benefit private businesses with NO regard to the public welfare, and (2) our healthcare system should be regarded as part of the infrastructure of our country and as such should be made available to everyone equally in the best interest of the nation.

“But,” some fat, out of touch politician might mutter, “I thought healthcare is just another big entitlement…something that people can do without”

Well…is education an entitlement? How about clean water, roads, sanitation? What about law enforcement and fire departments? I could go on and on, but I’ll just point out that in our history we have had the intelligence and foresight to recognize that eventually it makes sense for the government to take over certain services when it is in the public interest to do so. We have a huge public school system and a well-educated work force that has been crucial to America’s unparalleled success over the past century. Given the hundreds of billions of dollars in lost productivity every year caused by preventable illness in this country, I don’t think that it’s difficult to put the health of the nation in the same category…which, coincidentally, every single industrial nation EXCEPT THE UNITED STATES has already done.

For a smart country, sometimes we are very dumb.

I know it sounds like socialism (a concept that the average American doesn’t really know two shits about, no matter what they might be shouting at political rallies and tractor pulls), but single payer/a national system is the only thing that will ever solve the mess we’re in. But that’s not going to happen because the big players (who are fighting to hold onto their pieces of this multi-trillion dollar cash cow) have too much power at this stage in the game, and their lackeys in the political arena have the American public convinced that these big businesses are looking out for their best interest and are the best people to manage the industry anyway…at least until you get sick and they find a way to drop your policy.

I guess all that I can hope for is that the programs around the 30-45 million person pool that might be created by the current cluster fu…I mean “compromise” might be enough to put a dent in this behemoth economic doomsday machine that’s being fed by big medicine and its special interests. Maybe we can find a way to twist their arms a bit to stop screwing their customers to make a buck, while perhaps demonstrating that there are better options and ideas out there worth pursuing.

But maybe not…people are far too ignorant, lazy, and apathetic it seems…and as they say, “No one ever went broke underestimating the intelligence of the American public.”

Wouldn’t it be nice, for once, if that wasn’t true?

By the Lords of Kobol

The other day my fiancé shared with me a news story about the Mormon Church. Apparently, the Mormons – who believe in the star Kolob and that our planet was first populated there before being hurled into orbit around our own sun here (or, as they say on Battlestar Galactica: “Life here began out there…) – believe that people with physical disabilities were once “valiant spirits” in their pre-mortal existence and that since they came to this life knowing that they would have to endure hardship (a fore-knowledge they of course cannot recall), that they shouldn’t be given any special treatment or accommodation other than Mormon voodoo witch-doctory since only the Mormon priesthood “has the sole authority on Earth to heal in the name of Jesus Christ.”

WTF!?!? Are people really so incredibly stupid as to believe this stuff?

I have nothing against the Mormons. My sister in law is a Mormon and she and her fellow Mormons are some of the kindest and most family-oriented people I have ever met. But come on…doesn’t this sound a bit like a bunch of jerks giving themselves an out for treating people with disabilities like crap? It might be one thing if the Mormon clergy could actually deliver on their promises of healing all manner of disease and ailment; but they, just like their charismatic ilk in the pool of “Christian” faiths, can’t…so you end up with children with untreatable spinal injuries crawling up the tabernacle steps while they hope for a miracle that just isn’t going to come.

Makes my head hurt sometimes…where do they come up with this garbage?

I guess the Mormons and their founders just wanted to be "special." That's why one version of Christianity has never been enough for people. There was only one Christ, and only one Word (well, actually there are at least four versions of Jesus’ story in the New Testament), so wouldn’t it make sense that we would only need on “universal” (i.e. “Catholic”) church?

I guess, but it’s hard, sometimes, to go along with another person’s vision, even if that person was the Son of God. It’s only natural that breaks and schisms will occur…and occur…and occur again…until the message and the intent of the messenger are forgotten, or at best twisted into something barely recognizable… something that sometimes allows for self-proclaimed messiahs to marry themselves to 12-year-old girls, worship space aliens, castrate themselves to achieve enlightenment, and drink cyanide laced Kool-Aid when all the insanity starts to crash in on their heads.

Sorry…my mind wanders… which has happened before, and will happen again…and again…and again…

Getting back to the Mormons…In spite of my perceived lack of a spiritual foundation, unlike many “Christians” I’ve met, I’ve actually read the Gospels many, many times. I don’t recall Jesus ever once saying that he traveled from Kolob to Earth on a Battlestar, or that it was okay to shit on the handicapped because they supposedly know what they were getting into when they decide to come live a life on Earth.

I think I would recall that...

MY recollection was that he was a healer of the sick. Somehow I think Jesus would rather punch a Mormon in the nose rather than allow a disabled child to suffer. I thought the core of Jesus’ teaching was “Love” and that we’re supposed to love and watch over one another. Somehow this whole Mormon thing seems out of step with that fundamental teaching. Oh well, apparently the founders of the Mormon religion lifted all the Kolob stuff and the Mormon concept of the throne of God from a book called “The Philosophy of a Future State” by someone named Thomas Dick. But really, who cares if Joseph Smith was more plagiarist than prophet…

The things people will choose to believe. But I guess it doesn’t matter. We’re just making it up as we go along anyway.

My inspiration for this: http://www.sltrib.com/news/ci_13099087

My Fiance Made Me Do It...So Blame HER!

Sometimes...well, quite often when I really think about it...I am a whiny little bitch.

I have opinions about everything and often go off on long, rambling, pompous assertions, dissertations, raves, rants, and proclamations about all manner of things. Mostly, and like most people, it's all about how the world just doesn't measure up to what I see as its potential and that I generally feel that our society is a caricature of itself (two words: Sarah Palin). After all, we were supposed to be living on the MOON by now, for fuck's sake. To say that I am disappointed in our lack of progress towards that end...well...let's just say that it lends a bitter aftertaste to my nostalgic remembrances of Tang and Space Food Sticks...

But I digress...

So I bitch a lot...and Karol (bless her heart) listens to my high-minded bitching. Unfortunately for all of you (assuming anyone out there ever reads this), she usually responds to my diatribes with: "That's really good...you have so much to say...you should write that down and get it out there where people can read it."

So fine...here it is...my opinions and my version of the world as it ought to be. But just remember...

It's all Karol's fault...so blame HER when I say things that you don't like ;)